Friday, 31 October 2008
A Girl's Life
I don't know if I can describe this dream accurately. It had a narrator, a girl's voice. She was describing life as she was growing up. It was set in the era just before the war right after the depression. As she was describing her life, I was seeing it all. It was very, very detailed and even had little anecdotes about certain people in the small town she lived in and things like that. There was a large area of trees near her home which she called a "forest" but it wasn't quite that large. She hated going through it, because to her, it was very, very dark. But I took a closer look and it wasn't that dark inside. There was just so much detail in the dream and in her account of her daily life, it was like reading a book but living it at the same time.
Thursday, 11 September 2008
A Grandma's Unborn Visitor
I forgot to mention this earlier, but when I told my mom that we were naming this baby Cameron, she said it struck her as interesting because she had a dream a few days prior to me telling her that about a little boy who told her his name was Cameron. He had taken her hand and smiled up at her sweetly and that was all she could remember about the dream. Then a few days later I told her we were naming this baby Cameron.
So Connor may have visited me in a dream while I was pregnant with him, but apparently Cameron is visiting my mom who is 7,000 miles away instead! LOL!
So Connor may have visited me in a dream while I was pregnant with him, but apparently Cameron is visiting my mom who is 7,000 miles away instead! LOL!
Sunday, 7 September 2008
Family Reunion Including Souls From The Other Side
This was a strange dream I had a few nights ago and not all of it is clear to me in my memory, but I remember enough of it to share here.
I was getting my family ready for a family reunion that was also a birthday party for my paternal Grandma. (My grandma died in her 90s a couple of years ago.) She would be seeing my youngest four children (Cameron was here) for the first time. The kids were older, not fully grown yet, but about 5 years older than they are now.
My oldest daughter Victoria was not with us, and did not come to the reunion. I had to explain to my grandma why she wasn't there. My grandma did not seem as bothered by the news as I expected her to be.
Two other children who showed up and called me mommy. One was a boy and one was a girl. One was near about 19 years old and one was about 8 years old. The older one was the girl and the younger one was the boy. The girl was blonde and the boy was a redhead. I felt an instant connection to them and knew they were my children even though I couldn't explain how.
The reunion was enjoyable and I felt happy, though it was tinged with a touch of sadness due to Victoria not being a part of it.
I woke up about then.
Thinking back on the dream, I am reminded of a couple of things.
One, my grandmother's birthday was in September, and it is now September. I'll have to check the date of her birthday to see if I had the dream on the actual day.
Two, I have had two early miscarriages in the past - one a couple of months before I conceived Kayla and one a couple of months before I conceived Isabella. I do not know the genders of the two babies I lost, but I always felt the first was a girl and the second one was a boy.
I was getting my family ready for a family reunion that was also a birthday party for my paternal Grandma. (My grandma died in her 90s a couple of years ago.) She would be seeing my youngest four children (Cameron was here) for the first time. The kids were older, not fully grown yet, but about 5 years older than they are now.
My oldest daughter Victoria was not with us, and did not come to the reunion. I had to explain to my grandma why she wasn't there. My grandma did not seem as bothered by the news as I expected her to be.
Two other children who showed up and called me mommy. One was a boy and one was a girl. One was near about 19 years old and one was about 8 years old. The older one was the girl and the younger one was the boy. The girl was blonde and the boy was a redhead. I felt an instant connection to them and knew they were my children even though I couldn't explain how.
The reunion was enjoyable and I felt happy, though it was tinged with a touch of sadness due to Victoria not being a part of it.
I woke up about then.
Thinking back on the dream, I am reminded of a couple of things.
One, my grandmother's birthday was in September, and it is now September. I'll have to check the date of her birthday to see if I had the dream on the actual day.
Two, I have had two early miscarriages in the past - one a couple of months before I conceived Kayla and one a couple of months before I conceived Isabella. I do not know the genders of the two babies I lost, but I always felt the first was a girl and the second one was a boy.
Friday, 5 September 2008
The Fox
I had a very busy dreams last night with lots going on that I can't seem to remember, but one part of it is still clear in my memory. I was in someone's back garden where a barbecue was happening. My kids were there too. A fox showed up and walked up to me. The kids were very excited, and they all ran over to pet it even though I tried warning them away. It tolerated their petting, but never took its eyes off of me, as though it was there for just for me.
Friday, 22 August 2008
My Fairy Guardian
I had another unusual dream, but it was kind of nice.
In the dream, I was visited by a fairy. She was lovely, all golden and green and sparkly. Her skin was a pale blueish-green. She told me that she'd watched me my whole life. She said that she wanted me to come with her, that as a child I was so carefree and fearless that it made me strong. I was powerful as a child and I'd lost that power over the years but could get it back. She told me that she wanted me to come with her and that, in doing so, I would forget all of my cares and responsibilities and just be able to enjoy the luxury and decadence of her world. As tempting as it sounded, I did not want to forget my family, and I treasured the worry and stress as much as the good stuff because it was all a part of loving them and part of living. I told her that if I let her make me forget, then I would lose a part of me and no longer be me.
She told me that she would continue to watch over me, and she hoped I would try to find my power again. She said she would give me help along the way but that I wouldn't know it was her. And she told me that she had a gift for me, something that I had as a child and had never really lost but was having trouble finding again. The next thing I knew, I was flying. There was absolutely no effort whatsoever on my part to do so, and I had complete control over it. And my clothes had changed. I was wearing a very detailed but comfortable red sun dress (with layers). I have always looked horrible in red, but somehow this one looked great on me. (Oh, and I was thin in this dream.)
She left and I continued to fly and felt terrific.
One of my childhood pastors looked up from the church field and saw me. He told me I must be evil because I had the power to fly, but I ignored him, because I knew I wasn't evil, and I felt sorry for him because of his closed-mindedness.
In the dream, I was visited by a fairy. She was lovely, all golden and green and sparkly. Her skin was a pale blueish-green. She told me that she'd watched me my whole life. She said that she wanted me to come with her, that as a child I was so carefree and fearless that it made me strong. I was powerful as a child and I'd lost that power over the years but could get it back. She told me that she wanted me to come with her and that, in doing so, I would forget all of my cares and responsibilities and just be able to enjoy the luxury and decadence of her world. As tempting as it sounded, I did not want to forget my family, and I treasured the worry and stress as much as the good stuff because it was all a part of loving them and part of living. I told her that if I let her make me forget, then I would lose a part of me and no longer be me.
She told me that she would continue to watch over me, and she hoped I would try to find my power again. She said she would give me help along the way but that I wouldn't know it was her. And she told me that she had a gift for me, something that I had as a child and had never really lost but was having trouble finding again. The next thing I knew, I was flying. There was absolutely no effort whatsoever on my part to do so, and I had complete control over it. And my clothes had changed. I was wearing a very detailed but comfortable red sun dress (with layers). I have always looked horrible in red, but somehow this one looked great on me. (Oh, and I was thin in this dream.)
She left and I continued to fly and felt terrific.
One of my childhood pastors looked up from the church field and saw me. He told me I must be evil because I had the power to fly, but I ignored him, because I knew I wasn't evil, and I felt sorry for him because of his closed-mindedness.
Thursday, 21 August 2008
Distressed Baby In Utero
I still have over 13 weeks to go, but I am so worried about going past my due date and having to be induced again and having to argue for it because they are always too busy to do the induction that I actually had a nightmare about it last night!
I had a dream that I was in the hospital and I was already a week past my due date by my dates (so it was Nov. 28th), and as usual my body was doing nothing and I could sense that the baby was in distress. But they refused to induce me because they wanted to push my dates back to Dec. 3rd, and because they already had scheduled three inductions for the day and never go over. And they refused to even bother to check on the baby to see if my feeling about him being in distress was a valid one.
I had a dream that I was in the hospital and I was already a week past my due date by my dates (so it was Nov. 28th), and as usual my body was doing nothing and I could sense that the baby was in distress. But they refused to induce me because they wanted to push my dates back to Dec. 3rd, and because they already had scheduled three inductions for the day and never go over. And they refused to even bother to check on the baby to see if my feeling about him being in distress was a valid one.
Monday, 18 August 2008
Remembering Dreams
I keep being awakened very early in the morning by my kids, which takes my mind off of whatever I was dreaming and I forget. The difference in this from usual is that, in the last few days, I can't shake the feeling that my dreams were telling me something important. I just can't remember what it was.
When I wake before my kids and have time to think about the dream I was just dreaming, I can usually remember most of it.
When I wake before my kids and have time to think about the dream I was just dreaming, I can usually remember most of it.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Armageddon?
I had another strange dream.
Something had happened in the world. I'm not clear on what it was - just that it changed the world as we know it. Money would no longer buy anything. Food was hard to come by. Luxuries were hard to come by. People were getting sick and dying. People were leaving the cities and heading for more remote areas. We left our home, taking only what we could fit in a van that we bought.
We moved to a mobile home. There was a community of them set up in a large field. The community was important. Everyone got to know each other and everyone helped each other with the skills that they each had. It was understood that, when leaving the community, even if just to drive and see what was happening elsewhere, danger lurked everywhere, because there were unscrupulous people out there who were terrorizing others.
Life went on like this for quite some time (a year?). And there were times I thought back to the luxuries of life before and felt sorry that my younger children wouldn't know those luxuries, and other times I realized that the sense of community we all had now was just as important, if not more so.
One of a neighbour's daughters was getting married to a boy she had met since moving to the community. I could see the sadness in her eyes when her mother brought out a floral print dress that was very plain and said she would bring it in and fix it up to look nice for her to have as a wedding dress. I realized that I had many beautiful white dresses back at my house in the city. I decided there were lots of reasons to go for a scavenging trip back to the city, so my husband Robert and I arranged for the kids to be taken care of and set off.
We didn't encounter any dangers along the way. There were lots of abandoned vehicles though, and everything was void of life, human life though, not wildlife. Nature was creeping back and slowly taking back its land.
At our house, I grabbed all the pretty dresses I had in my closet and the girls' closets, my wedding dress, and decided to go looking through the toys to bring some toys back to the children (my children and others' children). I found bags of candy and chocolate that we had not brought with us the first time because they were not a staple food. I grabbed it all because I knew it would be a real treat as no one in the community had eaten anything like it in a long time.
I happened to look out the big back window to the back garden, which had become overgrown with weeds, grass and wildflowers. (Except, in the dream, it wasn't a window but a glass sliding door.) I saw some leopard cubs at the far end of the garden, seemingly unbothered by my presence. Closer, in some nearby bushes, some fox cubs and their parents peeked out at me. The fox cubs, curious, started to approach me. I opened the sliding door, and they jumped back at the sound. It was the parents of the cubs that approached me first, sniffing my hand and allowing themselves to be petted.
Not wanting to disturb them too much, I slid the door shut again and went back to my search through the house. I came across a lot of things that would be useful. Then we packed up and began our drive back to the community.
A lot more happened in the dream before the trip back to our city home, but I can't remember it all clearly.
Something had happened in the world. I'm not clear on what it was - just that it changed the world as we know it. Money would no longer buy anything. Food was hard to come by. Luxuries were hard to come by. People were getting sick and dying. People were leaving the cities and heading for more remote areas. We left our home, taking only what we could fit in a van that we bought.
We moved to a mobile home. There was a community of them set up in a large field. The community was important. Everyone got to know each other and everyone helped each other with the skills that they each had. It was understood that, when leaving the community, even if just to drive and see what was happening elsewhere, danger lurked everywhere, because there were unscrupulous people out there who were terrorizing others.
Life went on like this for quite some time (a year?). And there were times I thought back to the luxuries of life before and felt sorry that my younger children wouldn't know those luxuries, and other times I realized that the sense of community we all had now was just as important, if not more so.
One of a neighbour's daughters was getting married to a boy she had met since moving to the community. I could see the sadness in her eyes when her mother brought out a floral print dress that was very plain and said she would bring it in and fix it up to look nice for her to have as a wedding dress. I realized that I had many beautiful white dresses back at my house in the city. I decided there were lots of reasons to go for a scavenging trip back to the city, so my husband Robert and I arranged for the kids to be taken care of and set off.
We didn't encounter any dangers along the way. There were lots of abandoned vehicles though, and everything was void of life, human life though, not wildlife. Nature was creeping back and slowly taking back its land.
At our house, I grabbed all the pretty dresses I had in my closet and the girls' closets, my wedding dress, and decided to go looking through the toys to bring some toys back to the children (my children and others' children). I found bags of candy and chocolate that we had not brought with us the first time because they were not a staple food. I grabbed it all because I knew it would be a real treat as no one in the community had eaten anything like it in a long time.
I happened to look out the big back window to the back garden, which had become overgrown with weeds, grass and wildflowers. (Except, in the dream, it wasn't a window but a glass sliding door.) I saw some leopard cubs at the far end of the garden, seemingly unbothered by my presence. Closer, in some nearby bushes, some fox cubs and their parents peeked out at me. The fox cubs, curious, started to approach me. I opened the sliding door, and they jumped back at the sound. It was the parents of the cubs that approached me first, sniffing my hand and allowing themselves to be petted.
Not wanting to disturb them too much, I slid the door shut again and went back to my search through the house. I came across a lot of things that would be useful. Then we packed up and began our drive back to the community.
A lot more happened in the dream before the trip back to our city home, but I can't remember it all clearly.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Leading Us To Safety
I had a strange dream last night, and I know there are some gaps in what I am remembering, especially in the beginning of the dream.
It started with me and a large group of others being on a train. There was tension between most of the people on the train, but they all seemed relaxed when they talked with me. The train crashed, but everyone was okay. It wasn't a major crash; it just prevented the train from going on.
We all got off of the train and appeared to be in some sort of jungle territory. We found a cabin, and we all got our luggage out and went into the cabins. I cooked dinner for everyone, but after the meal, I heard gunshots. I looked out the window, and even though I couldn't see anything threatening, I knew we were all in danger and I knew where we had to go to escape.
When I started packing my bags, I realized that I had a lot of the kids' toys to pack, especially the ones that were favorites of theirs. No one else was packing because no one believed me that we were in danger.
When I finished packing, an explosion occurred just outside the back door of the cabin, and everyone panicked, and started asking me where we were supposed to go. About half of the people with me came with me, but the other half didn't believe I knew where to go and went another way.
We had to fight our way through the jungle with gunfire and danger all around. There were guerillas and for some reason they were after us (maybe they wanted hostages to ransom?).
One person in my group got shot in the leg, but another man and I took each of his arms and helped him continue on.
The other group didn't make it. They were all captured or killed. But we made it to a working train and safety; we had a way to escape. I felt awful for the 8 others who had not made it, the ones who hadn't believed me.
Then the dream started back at when I was trying to convince everyone that we were in danger and that I knew where we had to go to be safe. It was a second chance to convince them all so that no one would have to die. I woke up before it was over though, because my daughter Gabby came into my bedroom and wanted me to go and get her breakfast.
It started with me and a large group of others being on a train. There was tension between most of the people on the train, but they all seemed relaxed when they talked with me. The train crashed, but everyone was okay. It wasn't a major crash; it just prevented the train from going on.
We all got off of the train and appeared to be in some sort of jungle territory. We found a cabin, and we all got our luggage out and went into the cabins. I cooked dinner for everyone, but after the meal, I heard gunshots. I looked out the window, and even though I couldn't see anything threatening, I knew we were all in danger and I knew where we had to go to escape.
When I started packing my bags, I realized that I had a lot of the kids' toys to pack, especially the ones that were favorites of theirs. No one else was packing because no one believed me that we were in danger.
When I finished packing, an explosion occurred just outside the back door of the cabin, and everyone panicked, and started asking me where we were supposed to go. About half of the people with me came with me, but the other half didn't believe I knew where to go and went another way.
We had to fight our way through the jungle with gunfire and danger all around. There were guerillas and for some reason they were after us (maybe they wanted hostages to ransom?).
One person in my group got shot in the leg, but another man and I took each of his arms and helped him continue on.
The other group didn't make it. They were all captured or killed. But we made it to a working train and safety; we had a way to escape. I felt awful for the 8 others who had not made it, the ones who hadn't believed me.
Then the dream started back at when I was trying to convince everyone that we were in danger and that I knew where we had to go to be safe. It was a second chance to convince them all so that no one would have to die. I woke up before it was over though, because my daughter Gabby came into my bedroom and wanted me to go and get her breakfast.
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Child To Adult Confidence Dilemma
In the dream from last night, Robert and I had two neighbors who were a gay couple and very nice. They arranged to meet us for dinner. We were in Swansea, and drove down to the marina as there was a small shoppping center along the marina with the restaurant that we wanted to go to.
When we got there and were waiting for our food, I got the urge to go for a walk on my own. I went outside and turned around a corner and found myself in an old looking neighbourhood, similar to one of the roads near where I lived when I really did live in Wales.
I was suddenly a child again, and there was a group of girls who were making fun of the way I was dressed. I felt very small and embarrassed. One of the girls in the group was not happy with the teasing but she went along with it even though she felt bad because she didn't want to be made fun of too. I went back to the restaurant and was then an adult again, and our food had been served, so I sat to eat.
Then the dream replayed again, exactly the same except for this time, when I was the small girl being teased, I felt more confident and sure of myself. I spoke up for myself and walked away in confidence, knowing that I didn't really care what the other girls thought.
When we got there and were waiting for our food, I got the urge to go for a walk on my own. I went outside and turned around a corner and found myself in an old looking neighbourhood, similar to one of the roads near where I lived when I really did live in Wales.
I was suddenly a child again, and there was a group of girls who were making fun of the way I was dressed. I felt very small and embarrassed. One of the girls in the group was not happy with the teasing but she went along with it even though she felt bad because she didn't want to be made fun of too. I went back to the restaurant and was then an adult again, and our food had been served, so I sat to eat.
Then the dream replayed again, exactly the same except for this time, when I was the small girl being teased, I felt more confident and sure of myself. I spoke up for myself and walked away in confidence, knowing that I didn't really care what the other girls thought.
Swimming Upstream & Affording A Puppy
I had two dreams that I remember from last night.
In the first one, I was a child and there were other children around me. All of the streets were flooded, like a river, and we were swimming in them. There came a split in the river/road. On one side, which is the side the current was pulling me towards, I could hear rocks and a waterfall. The other side looked like a more peaceful direction, but it was a real struggle to swim that way. Eventually, with a lot of effort, I directed myself down the peaceful path and others were going that way too. We swam into a neighbourhood where really huge houses (like houses for giants) lined the river/road. I had the feeling we were being watched from above, but no one else seemed bothered by it. I saw a giant plastic "castle" in the water, like the tiny ones you would see in fish tanks and that's when I knew - We were being treated like pet fish and watched for the fun of it. I didn't feel threatenend by it, but I wanted to make my own way and not have anyone giving me "treats," so I started heading back up the river/road to where it had forked. I had no idea where the other direction led, but I was determined to take it.
At this point, my daughter Bella started talking in her sleep so I woke up, and went to get her settled again.
In the second dream, which came to me sometime after I got back to sleep, I only remember the end of it. I found out that my husband had sold our new(ish) couch and loveseat (which we just finished paying off) to a pawn shop because we didn't have enough money to buy my daughter Angelica's puppy and we had promised her she could have one. I was really angry with him for not talking to me about it first and for doing something so foolish.
When I woke up at this point, I asked him, sleepily, if he had sold our furniture. He laughed and said no and I drifted back to sleep for a short while. LOL!
In reality, we have the money to buy the dog. I think I'm just used to worrying about money because I've been through so many financially rough patches in the past.
In the first one, I was a child and there were other children around me. All of the streets were flooded, like a river, and we were swimming in them. There came a split in the river/road. On one side, which is the side the current was pulling me towards, I could hear rocks and a waterfall. The other side looked like a more peaceful direction, but it was a real struggle to swim that way. Eventually, with a lot of effort, I directed myself down the peaceful path and others were going that way too. We swam into a neighbourhood where really huge houses (like houses for giants) lined the river/road. I had the feeling we were being watched from above, but no one else seemed bothered by it. I saw a giant plastic "castle" in the water, like the tiny ones you would see in fish tanks and that's when I knew - We were being treated like pet fish and watched for the fun of it. I didn't feel threatenend by it, but I wanted to make my own way and not have anyone giving me "treats," so I started heading back up the river/road to where it had forked. I had no idea where the other direction led, but I was determined to take it.
At this point, my daughter Bella started talking in her sleep so I woke up, and went to get her settled again.
In the second dream, which came to me sometime after I got back to sleep, I only remember the end of it. I found out that my husband had sold our new(ish) couch and loveseat (which we just finished paying off) to a pawn shop because we didn't have enough money to buy my daughter Angelica's puppy and we had promised her she could have one. I was really angry with him for not talking to me about it first and for doing something so foolish.
When I woke up at this point, I asked him, sleepily, if he had sold our furniture. He laughed and said no and I drifted back to sleep for a short while. LOL!
In reality, we have the money to buy the dog. I think I'm just used to worrying about money because I've been through so many financially rough patches in the past.
Monday, 16 June 2008
Altered Church-Goers
I had the strangest dream last night. Everyone who attended church regularly and all of the religous leaders were suddenly consumed with a type of fanatacism and they were killing anyone who even slightly disagreed with what they preached. We tried to find our reverend because we knew he was rational and would not be taken over by this weird phenomena, but he had been altered too. And they all had strange powers. They could grab bullets out of the air and had super strength and speed. Victoria, my oldest daughter, was part of them.
The other kids and Robert and I were captured by people we used to consider friends and we were being led to our execution when Robert and I fought back and gave the kids a chance to run. Then we, too, started running, and that's when I woke up.
The other kids and Robert and I were captured by people we used to consider friends and we were being led to our execution when Robert and I fought back and gave the kids a chance to run. Then we, too, started running, and that's when I woke up.
Thursday, 8 May 2008
A Piece Of Her Mind
I dreamed that my oldest daughter Victoria showed up at our house. She gave me a "letter" she had written to me, but it was actually a small self-published book. The title was "To Mom & Dad" but the "Dad" part was in a smaller font. She hugged both my husband and me and then left.
Instead of reading like a long letter, it was more like I was reading Victoria's thoughts that she had throughout the day, but they were all a jumbled mess and disjointed. It was as if she was really confused and she couldn't finish one thought before beginning another. None of the writing came anywhere close to making sense. I became really sad, because I knew that this was the current state of her mind. But I felt like she was showing me this for a reason, like she was asking me to help her.
Then I woke up, left feeling disturbed and yet peaceful at the same time.
Instead of reading like a long letter, it was more like I was reading Victoria's thoughts that she had throughout the day, but they were all a jumbled mess and disjointed. It was as if she was really confused and she couldn't finish one thought before beginning another. None of the writing came anywhere close to making sense. I became really sad, because I knew that this was the current state of her mind. But I felt like she was showing me this for a reason, like she was asking me to help her.
Then I woke up, left feeling disturbed and yet peaceful at the same time.
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