I have vivid and unusual dreams, when I remember them. Often, they play out like movies. If dreams can tell us anything about ourselves, then this dream journal should tell a lot about me! (Let's hope it doesn't just say I'm a crazy lady.)

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Teaching Photography

Last night's dream started with Robert and I attending a class on photography. There were only about 20 students in the class including ourselves. After the first 10 minutes of class had passed, the instructor realized that Robert and I (especially Robert) knew more about photography than he did, so he asked us to take over the lessons.

Robert and I began teaching the class different techniques and demonstrating the techniques by taking photos that would show on a large screen on the wall. Roberts' photos were coming out stunning. Everyone was impressed. But mine were coming out blurred and messed up no matter how hard I tried to get them right. And even when I knew the shot and technique were perfect, they still weren't coming out right.

Then Robert woke me up because one of our children was crying and the dream ended.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Giggling Ghost Baby

I haven't had any dreams that I remember well enough to share here lately, so I thought I'd share a dream a friend had recently.

My friend Helen tells me that she never remembers her dreams, but she had one last week that really stuck with her and she said she remembers it vividly. It creeped her out.

She dreamed she was in the bathroom, and something invisible picked her up and slammed her against the wall hard. Then she saw and felt a baby on her shoulder. It was a ghost baby because it was definitely not alive, and it was rocking and bouncing and giggling. It tried to tell her its name by babbling and pointing at something. She tried to guess its name but was wrong (and she can't remember what she guessed). She woke up without finding out the baby's name.

She said the whole thing was really creepy.

Sunday, 26 September 2010


I had another strange dream last night. I dreamed that I had all of the symptoms of that one-week-out-of-every-month curse, but didn't actually have it start. And then I found a spare pregnancy test left-over from before Cameron was born. I knew it wasn't possible for me to be pregnant, but I took the test anyway and it came out positive!

So then I started thinking about all of the implications if that turned out to be true. I wondered how I would cope with an EIGHTH baby! And I really worried about how I was going to break the news to my husband.

Fortunately, I woke up before the dream went any further!

I have absolutely no idea what brought this dream on.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

The New House That Wasn't For Us

Last night, I dreamed I was being given a tour of a house that Robert and I were thinking of buying. An elderly couple lived there and the house had a very homey feel to it.

The couple were sitting together in their living room, but when I got there they went into the kitchen with me and offered me some tea. I sat at the kitchen table and chatted with them for a while. They told me about the children they had raised in their home who were all grown now. They also told me that they had decided to move into a smaller house, since it was just the two of them, which is why they had decided to sell their house.

In the living room, there were two sets of stairs. The stairs on the left were a winding stairs. The woman guided me up the stairs to the right. The stairs to the right were very steep; it was almost like wall-climbing to go up them and I had to use my hands to keep from falling backwards.

Once I got to the top of the stairs, she started showing me the different rooms. Some of the rooms were big. Some of the rooms rooms were very small and many of them were oddly shaped. One was shaped like a triangle and got narrower at the opposite end from its door. One room had a different set of stairs that came up from downstairs and had its landing in the center of the floor. I thought that the stairs must be from the winding staircase.

Some of the rooms could only be gotten to by walking through other rooms. There were five bedrooms altogether. Although the layout was strange, there was plenty of space. There appeared to be three bathrooms upstairs, two of them ensuite, and they were all very spacious.

We went back downstairs and sat at the kitchen table to finish our tea. A squirrel came in through the kitchen window and hopped onto the table where there was a bowl of peanuts. The woman smiled and I could tell that this was a regular occurrence for her.

The house was on a corner though, and the intersection it sat on hosted a very busy street to the side of the house. I suddenly pictured our cat in this house and the way he often ran into the street by our current house without any care for whether any cars were coming, and I knew that if we moved into this house, he'd eventually be run over by a car on that busy road. I knew that I wouldnt be buying the house.

Then I woke up.

Monday, 2 August 2010

Reading Books To Save Ourselves

I only remember the last dream I had last night, though I vaguely recall that there had been other dreams before it. As dreams normally are, it was very strange.

I was living in a very large house with very expensive looking furnishings. My husband and children were there too. An evil creature was coming for us. We didn't know what it looked like or what its powers were. All we knew was that it was demonic, that it had some sort of magical power, and that it wanted all of us dead.

We knew this because an angel had appeared and warned us. The angel was dressed all in white and he carried a very large sword. He told us that we had to use our gifts to vanquish the demon that was coming for us. He didn't tell us what our "gifts" were, only that, if we looked inside ourselves, we would know. He told me the name of the demon (but I can no longer remember what it was).

I immediately thought of books. I am good at reading. A set of very old books that were on the bookshelves drew my attention. I knew I had to read them. I knew that somewhere in them lay the key to saving my family from the demon.

There were a lot of books. I skimmed through the pages because I knew we didn't have a lot of time. It felt as though I would never finish the books, never find the information we needed in time. Just as I heard the roar the dmeon made in the distance and knew we only had moments before it would be upon us, I found the information I needed.

I had to write. I had to write a story about the demon and, in the story, I had to write the death of the demon. My writing would be made real and the demon would die.

I started writing. I could hear the demon getting closer; I could hear the beating of its huge wings as they wooshed through the air and the occasional roar it made was coming ever closer. I could hear people screaming outside.

I told Robert to take the kids to the back of the house to hide, and I kept writing.

Then I woke up.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Useful Magic & Fierce Dragons

I had a very unusual dream last night.

It started off with me being at a play with my husband and children. I suddenly got a very uneasy feeling, as if something bad was going to happen. That's when four young people, two guys and two girls showed up beside where I was sitting. They all looked to be between the ages of 17 and 20.

One of the girls had long dark hair and brown eyes. The other girl had mid-lenght blonde hair and blue eyes. The boys were the same as the girls, with one being a brunette with brown eyes and one being a blonde with blue eyes. The blonde girl and the blonde boy both wore glasses, and the boys both had short, spiky hair. The brunette girl was dressed very business-like in clothes that were clearly designer-made. The blonde girl and the two young men were wearing jeans and t-shirts.

They looked at me as if they were waiting for me to say something, as if I should know why they were there, standing beside me. I raised my eyebrows at them and waited.

The blonde young woman spoke first, "It's not safe here. You need to come with us."

I remained sitting. My instincts were that she was telling the truth, but the reasonable side of my brain couldn't make sense of it.

The young brown-haired man spoke up, "I know you've sensed it. Something's coming. We have to stop it. We need your help."

When I just sat there looking at them, I think they started to realize that I didn't really have any idea what they were talking about.

Amazingly, Robert, sitting beside me, didn't seem to notice any of this going on. He was absorbed in the play, as were our kids.

The four of them started talking amongst themselves. "Can it be that she really doesn't know?" asked the young brunette woman.

"Look," the blonde young man said, "Carly, we all found out when we were young. Our parents knew about our gifts. Maybe hers didn't. It's possible."

The brunette woman, Carly, spoke again,"Travis, how can it be possible that she doesn't know? Surely her gifts would have surfaced by now. Surely, she would have questioned it!"

The blonde woman joined in the discussion, "I agree with Carly," she stated. "Rebecca is older than all of us. By now, she would have noticed that she wasn't normal."

I pondered for a moment about the fact that they knew my name and then the brunette man joined the conversation, "Jynx, I know it's unlikely, but we have to at least entertain the possiblity that she doesn't know. Shouldn't we just ask her?"

"How, Jake?" Jynx asked him. If she really doesn't know, she's going to think we're crazy. And we don't have time for this!"

The girl called Carly turned to me then. "Rebecca, please, what I'm going to say may sound completely crazy, but I need you to hear me out without interupting," she pleaded with me.

And that's when the four of them told me I had powers, that I'd always had these powers. I could perform magic, they said. And, even though it sounded crazy, and even though I knew I should be either laughing at them or calling in the mental professionals, I believed them. Something about their words rang true. I wasn't even surprised when Jake held his palm out and a fire lit in the palm of his hand from thin air, blazing on his palm without burning it, or when Carly blew gently on a pen she held in her hand, and it froze, white ice crystals forming across it.

Then they explained to me that I needed to learn more about my own power. They told me that something evil was coming, and that it would endanger everyone, including the people I loved, but that it would come for us, those of us with magic, first. We were the only things standing between it and the safety of the rest of the world.

They didn't know what form the evil would take, only that it was coming and that it was formless, but would take a form of its own choosing when it got here.

I tried explaining it all to Robert but he didn't understand. Jynx touched his head and he seemed to forget. He didn't forget me, but he forgot that I was there with him and went back to watching the play with the kids.

We left then. The four of them took me outside. I could feel that whatever the evil was that they had spoken of, it was close. I felt it like shivers on my skin.

The told me that we had to fly to the house they were taking me to, to their headquarters. All I had to do was think of flying. Within moments, all five of us were flying through the air at ever-increasing speed. I followed them. Strangely, it didn't even cross my mind how strange it was to be flying, or how incredible it was.

We arrived at a large, three-story house. It looked ancient. Everything in it was antique. It was built in stone, like a castle, but it was just a very large house. The interior was furnished in oak furniture.

Before they had a chance to teach me anything about my powers, I heard a whooshing in the air and realized it was the sound of giant wings. I looked out the window and was the first of us to see the form that the evil had taken.

It had taken the form of a giant dragon. It's scales were more grey than green, and it's eyes were yellow. It was as large as the house we were in, and I could tell from the smoke coming through it's nose that it was able to breathe fire.

Travis yelled, "Hide!" and everyone ran to hide. They hid in large cupboards and in closets. I found a doorway to a closet that looked like it was made out of metal. Would it be safe from fire?

Two seconds later, fire exploded throughout the room we were in. It burned through the space we had been occupying just moments before with explosive force. I could feel the heat of it on the other side of the door, and then it stopped. I knew it would only be a matter of moments before we would feel the heat again.

Then I heard the voices. Robert and the kids were downstairs. Somehow, they had not forgotten my being with them as we had thought they had, and they'd followed us. They were in danger!

I came out of the protective safety of the closet space and faced the dragon. I knew I was going to die, but maybe they could get away while the dragon focused on me.

I yelled for them to run, and then the fire came at me. I held my hands up, and the fire stopped. It was still burning, but it stopped as if an invisible wall were between it and me. I realized that I coud do more with this power that, just a short while before, I hadn't even known I possessed. I thought about turning the fire back on the dragon and then it did. It turned and raged back at the dragon.

The fire didn't harm the dragon, but it surprised it. A large claw came through the window to find purchase to try and pull itself in. The dragon couldn't fit through the window, but it could pull the wall away and that's what it started to do.

I said,"No," and the bits of wall that had been pulled down reformed. I spoke again. My voice didn't even sound like me; it sounded deeper and more ancient, as if it were the voice of many. I said,"smaller" and the dragon shrank to about half of its size. It was still huge though.

I said, "Be gone," and the dragon just disappeared. The others came out then. They said they could have never done what I had done with my powers. They told me I needed to learn more about what I was capable of doing.

I agreed, but at the moment, I just wanted to go and check on my family and reassure msyelf that they were all safe.

That's when I woke up.

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Walking Through My Old Neighborhood

Last night's dream was set back in San Jose, California, where I lived for a large chunk of my life.

In the dream, Robert and I were trying to walk home (to my old home), and we had all four of our youngest children with us (Gabriella, Isabella, Connor and Cameron). Cameron was in a stroller. We were many miles away from the home we were trying to get to. Normally on walks, Robert would lead the way, but because I was the only one of us familiar with where we were, I was leading us.

Some of the roads were new, and it seemed to take us a lot longer to get anywhere than it should have. At one point, just before we turned the wrong way, I realized that I had been steering us toward the wrong former residence of mine and needed to correct our direction for the more recently lived in one.

The kids were tired but mostly well behaved. It was hot and sunny out. When we were getting close to our destination, we had to cut through a factory. In the factory, the children all found cushions and started playing with them by hitting each other with them and having a pillow fight. The factory workers thought it was cute and told the kids that they could each keep one cushion of their choice to take with them. All of them chose character cushions that featured their favorite Disney characters.

As we left the factory, we were finally on the road that would lead straight to the house we were wanting to get to. That's when I woke up.

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Celebrities and Complaining Teenagers

After quite abit of time passing, I actually have been able to remember a dream again.

Last night, I had another strange dream. I dreamed that I was at church. There weren't very many people there. My teenage daughter Kayla stood up in front of the congregation and complained about my husband's and my parenting. She said she didn't feel supported by us and that she was telling us in front of the church congregation so that she felt she had backup.

I was mortified and angry with her. I almost got up and walked out. Instead I waited until she sat down and explained to her why saying that in front of the church congregation had been a poor move on her part.

Then my husband and I were offered a ride home in a limousine. The person offering was Madonna! We accepted and got in. (My younger children weren't in this dream for some reason.) There was a second celebrity in the car, Amy Yasbeck (actress in "Robinhood: Men In Tights"). Robert started chatting with her as she sat on the other side of him. Madonna was sitting across from me, facing me. I rolled my eyes and whispered to her, "Do you notice how he is actually leaning away from me and towards her?" I laughed. It surprised me a little that his body language was so into her, but it didn't really bother me because I knew he loved me and would never even consider an affair with anyone else.

Madonna and I chatted for a bit about nothing in particular, and then I asked if she would mind if we went back and picked up my teenage daughters Angelica and Kayla. I apologized ahead of time because I knew they would be awed by meeting her and I thought they might act silly and overexcited about it.

The limousine turned around and we picked up Kayla and Angelica. I invited the two celebrities over for a meal, and they accpeted readily. Then I woke up.

Saturday, 12 June 2010

The Problem-Fixer

I should have written what I remembered of last night's dream earlier in the day because I remembered more of it this morning than I do now.

In the dream, I was a teenager again and away at a camp for girls. I remember that there was some sort of problem and everyone was relying on me to fix it. But that's all I can remember now.

Sunday, 16 May 2010

Wealth & Poverty

Last night, I had a very disjointed dream that seemed to jump from one scene and topic to another.

It started out with Robert and I walking at night. There was another couple walking a little way behind us, and Robert seemed to think they were dangerous, so we moved into the shadows where the street lights didn't penetrate the darkness as well and continued walking, hoping they couldn't see us.

As we walked, the neighborhood became more and more run-down and ominous. We saw a supermarket, well lit up, and I thought maybe we should walk over to it and go inside. In front of the supermarket's parking lot, there was a little circle of large stones where a bunch of teenage boys were sitting. Instead of avoiding them as I thought we should, Robert decided we would be safer joining them.

Once we got closer to them, I realized they were all wearing light blue tuxedoes. I wondered if they had just come from a prom (and if so, where were their dates?) or if they were in a band or something. We sat on one of the stones beside them, and Robert started up some idle chitchat with the boys. In the meantime, the couple we were trying to avoid passed us by and continued walking.

At this time, we noticed that beside the supermarket was a hotel. It was very elegant and probably expensive, but we were too far from home to be able to walk home before morning, so we decided to stay at the hotel for the night. When we checked in, the concierge gave us a special deal on the price because it was after midnight already. He kept eyeing me up, and although he seemed nice enough, he made me a little uncomfortable because he was acting overly flirtatious.

I mentioned to Robert within the concierges's hearing that I would have liked to go to the supermarket and buy food for a stir-fry if only we had a way of cooking it. The concierge immediately told us that he could loan us a wok from the kitchen to cook with in our room as long as we made sure to return it at the end of our stay. So Robert went to the store to buy chicken and vegetables for our stir-fry while I got settled into our room.

I decided to take a quick shower. The bathroom was massive and beautiful. Everything about the hotel screamed of wealth and extravagence. When I got out of the shower, I got dressed in the bathroom. When I left the bathroom, I found that the entire room had been ransacked and things were missing. We had not brought much with us, so the things that were missing belonged to the hotel. Robert got back from the store just then, and that's when I realized that the wok had been stolen.

We called down to the lobby and a female employee came up to our room. She told us that ours wasn't the only room that had this happen. I was cold, and my coat was missing, so I pulled one of the blankets off of the bed and draped it around myself.

Robert and I went out into the hallway and found richly dressed people milling about. Everyone was in an uproar over the thefts. It seemed as if every room had been burgled and ransacked. Many of the women were wearing expensive jewelry and soft furs and, like the hotel, their appearance just screamed of money. Being robbed was clearly nothing they had experienced before and certainly had not expected here in this luxurious hotel for the wealthy.

As we walked down the hallway, we overheard snatches of conversation from many of the people around us. From what we heard, we came to understand that a fundraiser had been in progress and many of the hotel's patrons were here by invitation from a charity for their charity event.

I needed the toilet, so I excused myself from Robert and entered into one of the public restrooms off of the hallway. When I entered the bathroom stall, I heard squeaking and scratching noises. Within moments, rats started showing up from all over. I lifted my feet and finished quickly, so I could escape. As I left the stall, I kicked one of the rats out of my way. Some of the rats were really big! I still had the blanket around me but I shrugged it off with the fear that a rat might grab onto it.

When I washed my hands, I noticed in the mirror that there was a wall-mounted wide-screen tv on the wall behind me. I turned to view the program on and it was all about the charity event that the hotel was hosting. The charity sent people to a third world country to help out in many different areas that help was needed in. What was being shown was a group of teenage volunteers who had been sent over to help in a hospital that had an overabundance of newborn babies who were orphaned. In order for these malnourished and under-cared-for newborns to flourish, they needed physical contact early in life, but there were not enough people for that, so these teenagers were sent over to spend weeks holding, cuddling and otherwise caring for these tiny babies.

The teenagers were each holding a tiny newborn baby and talking about the experience. My thought was, "It's probably a good thing that I am not over there doing this, because I would want to take every single baby home with me and raise them all as my own!"

I kicked another rat out of the way and left the bathroom. The female hotel employee who had come to our room earlier was in the hallway and walked us both back to our room. In the room, she showed us a brand new, all-white, leather recliner. She told us it was ours to keep as an apology for the inconvenience we had been through and because the staff all liked us. (I had no idea why the staff liked us so much!) I had no idea how we would get the thing home with us, and wondered if they'd be insulted if we left it with the hotel.

Robert and I helped the hotel staff clean up the mess created by the burglars. We moved furniture back into place and tidied up not just our room but other rooms as well. It felt good to be helping out. I wondered how our kids were doing without us.

And then I woke up.

As a side note: Despite the rats being wild rats in my dream, if I encountered rats in real life, it would be highly unlikely for me to kick them out of my way as I hate the idea of violence to animals, but in the dream, the rats were very threatening.

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Tantrums & Adoptions

Despite the fact that I have not been able to remember most of my dreams lately past a few minutes after I wake up, I remembered my dream last night. As usual, the dream was very strange.

In my dream, my three year old son Connor was misbehaving and throwing a little tantrum while we were out shopping. He accidentally hit a man in a suit who was standing near us. No harm was done as he is only three and he wasn't hitting forcefully anyway; he was just preoccupied with his tantrum and hadn't noticed that there was a man standing near him.

But the man was not satisfied with my scolding Connor. He pressed charges! And we had to go to court. The courts decided that Connor was not getting the discipline he needed at home and it was ordered that he be put into a group home.

Everyone, including his dad, were resigned to this fate. The courts had decided and there was nothing we could do, seemed to be the general idea. But no way was I letting ANYONE take my baby away from me, especially not in his formative years! I was furious with how ridiculous the whole situation was and how stupid the courts were being, and I was ready for war.

I don't know how that dream ended because the next thing I knew, I was in another dream.

In this dream, my childhood friend Caryn came to visit me. She was outside in the car and I went out to help her get her things. I expected her two boys to be in the car with her, but instead there were two beautiful little twin five year old girls in the back seat. Caryn explained to me that she and her husband were fostering them and hoped to someday adopt the two little girls.

After her visit, Robert and I started discussing adopting a child. We called social services and they were quick to bring us two sisters. The girls were about two and four years old, and their hair fell in the most beautiful red ringlets. They each had a tiny smattering of freckles across their noses, and I was smitten with them immediately.

I woke up at that point in the dream.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

My Story Characters Visit

I dreamed about the novel I am writing. In the dream, my main characters (Bella, Gabby, Connor & Jackie) stepped out of my computer screen as I was writing. I was stunned and asked, "How?" without really being able to finish the thought. Bella explained to me, "It's what we do. You write us into being; you should know all about it. We move through dimensions. It's how we fight evil. We keep our dimension safe from the evil in other dimensions. But your dimension is important to us, because you created us and without you, there IS no us."

Then the character named Gabby added, "And your world is in danger now, so you need us."

Then I woke up. This particular dream was way too weird for me!

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Danger On The Ice

Last night, I dreamed that I was ice skating on a lake. My kids and husband were ice skating too. There were a lot of other families ice skating on the lake.

In the middle of the ice, there was some loose snow which made it difficult for anyone to skate through the middle. I used the edge of the blades on my ice skates and started to scrape away the snow to make the ice smoother for skating on.

Others noticed what I was doing and came to do the same. I told them to do it gently so that they didn't damage the ice. When it was fairly smooth, the people who'd been helping went back to skating, except for one little girl and her dad who were still standing near me in the middle. Isabella, my 4 year old, was beside me as well.

At about this time, I noticed a bubble of water come up from the center of the ice right beside where we were standing, and I heard a loud creaking noise. With dawning horror, I realized what was happening.

"Get away from the center!" I shouted, "The ice is breaking!" and I grabbed Isabella and pulled her away towards the edge of the iced over lake where it was safer. The man who'd been out there with me with his little girl turned up right beside me again, but his little girl wasn't with him. She was about Isabella's age.

I looked to the center of the lake with horror. The little girl was standing there, looking down at the spreading water as the ice broke and sank and the water came ever closer to her. I knew I'd never be able to get to her in time, and her dad was looking her way as well. He looked distraut and he was shouting to her to run to him, but he hadn't moved towards her. I couldn't figure out why he was just standing there. Was he worried about breaking the ice with his weight? It didn't matter because the ice was breaking all around her anyway.

There were some trees beside the lake that were sick and had been slated for destruction. They had a rope barrier put up around them. I loosened the rope and tied it around myself, leaving an extra length on the opposite side for tying around the little girl. I yelled at her dad to grab the long end of it to pull us out if needed. If I fell in, I knew hypothermia would set in fast.

I looked up to where the little girl stood. I blinked and she disappeared. No one else had yet seen that she had fallen in. As long as she didn't drift from where she'd fallen, I knew where I'd find her, but she didn't have much time, even less because I couldn't even see any struggle. Just one minute she was there, and the next she was gone.

I ran out to where I'd last seen her, heedless of the creaks and cracking of the ice that I could hear and feel under my feet. I got to the edge of the ice and I could see her floating face down, lifeless. I didn't think she been under long enough for permanent damage, but I needed to get her out right away.

She was too far from the edge for me to reach her. I knew I was going to have to go into the water. I couldnt' be sure that her dad would pull us out. Although he still held the end of the rope, he just stood where he was, looking stunned and useless. But I couldn't leave her to die. Maybe I could be quick enough that the hypothermia wouldn't get to me before I had pulled her out.

I jumped into the water and instantly felt the cold seeping into every pore, wrapping my bones in it's icy coldness. I swam towards the little girl. Her hair was fanned out around her in the water. Her little pink coat was soggy and dragging her down. I wrapped my arms around her. I wanted to tie the loose bit of rope around her, but I couldn't get my chilled fingers to work properly, so I just wrapped my arms around her, lifting her head above the water and hoped that my strength would hold long enough.

I felt the rope pulling us faster towards the edge of the ice, and looked to see Robert helping the father pull the rope in. He'd been at the other end of the lake with our other kids, but must have seen what was happening and come to help. When I felt the edge of the ice, I wearily pushed her little body up onto it and pulled myself up after her.

Robert was now walking carefully (so as not to break any more of the ice) over to us, but I knew she didn't have time. Despite my exhaustion, I stood up on wobbly legs and gently lifted her limp body into my arms. With each step, I seemed to feel the strength returning to my legs and soon I was walking at a very quick pace towards the paramedics and the ambulance that were parked near the lake.

The paramedics rushed over to take her from me, and I felt that she would be okay, but I never found out because, as Robert approached me and wrapped his arms around me in a great big hug, that is when I woke up.

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Volunteering & Ghosts

I had another strange dream last night involving a house. In this dream , Robert and I were living in a house that was very old. It was huge and very drab in color.

The house was not familiar to me; it was as if we had just moved in. I wasn't familiar with the area either. I have no idea where we were supposed to be, but it had the feel of some of the towns I've been to in Mexico.

Robert and I were volunteering at a local hospital, and we walked there each day across a field and down a town road about a block. There were usually kids playing soccer in the field when we walked by, and every day they would kick their soccer ball across the field to me, and every day I would kick it perfectly back to them.

One day, they kicked the ball a little high. I almost headed it back to them, but I had waited too late to try and it missed me. Robert told me not to worry; I'd be ready for it and head it next time.

We had to deal with a lot of wounds and injuries at the hospital where we were volunteering.

On the way home one day, Robert and I were discussing the house. Robert was telling me that it needed a lot of work to make it more livable. He told me that there was an electrician at the house at that time trying to fix the wiring since the lights were always turning on and off at random moments. I told him that I thought the house was haunted. I always had a bad feeling when we were in it.

When we got back to the house, we found the electrician on the floor. His breathing was very shallow and he had burns on his hands. We managed to wake him, and he started talking very rapidly in Spanish. I don't remember much Spanish anymore, but I understood the words "malo" and "casa." He was telling us that the house was bad.

I don't know what happened after that because I woke up.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Doors & Possiblities

Last night, I dreamed we were in a house. It wasn't one I recognized, but it was really big. It was kind of old and run-down looking on the outside, but the inside was more varied. Parts of it were very old and worn and parts of it were very elegant and opulent.

There was a large winding staircase and at the top of the staircase there was a long hallway full of doors. I walked down the hallway and opened the first door I came to. Inside was bright and colorful compared to the drab and grey hallway. It was as if it was a little girl's room and had been decorated to suit a fairy princess, full of pinks and greens and with walls painted with bright and colorful flowers. I closed the door and moved on.

I opened the next door, and inside was a beautiful garden. There were butterflies flitting about and birds chirping. It was sunny inside and I felt the urge to go inside and lay on the grass for a while, but instead I closed the door and moved on.

I opened the next door, and inside I found a sky. There were clouds floating across the room like giant balls of cotton candy, and I knew I could step onto one of them and float peacefully in the air, but instead, I moved on.

I opened the next door and inside was library full of books. There were books of all kinds; some were colorful children's books and some were mysteries. There were text books and horrors. There were romance novels and "how to" books. Every genre was there. There was a soft, comfortable chair for sitting in with a light beside it.

One of the shelves looked different from the rest; it had a pattern of leaves across it. I walked over to it and picked up one of the books. It was authored by me. That's when I noticed that all of the books on this bookshelf were authored by me. And some of the titles were about me too.

I left the room and moved on to the next room. In this room, I found nothing but empty, white space. I stepped inside and thought that the room really needed some color. Immediately splashes of colorful paint showed up all around me. I was surprised, but then I had another thought that the room needed somewhere to sit. A chair showed up beside me.

That's when I realized that this was a room of possibilities, and that's why it had been blank. Because anything was possible; all I had to do was think of it.

That's when I woke up.

Friday, 19 February 2010

Disjointed Dream Memory

I guess I went to bed worrying about my weight (again) and about how my kids and I were going to get to town this morning. We planned on walking, but I knew it might be difficult for the younger kids and I was a little worried that we wouldn't make it to our appointment on time.

The reason I know these things were on my mind when I went to bed last night is because my dream, what little I can remember of it, was all about those things. In the dream, Robert had made more cupcakes and different family members kept offering them to me. I had to keep turning down the cupcakes offered, even though I really wanted one, because I knew how much I wanted to reach my goal weight this week.

And then I was trying to get the kids ready to go to our appointment in town, and they kept messing up their hair after I'd brushed it so that I would have to brush it again. I would change the baby's diaper and then he'd poo in it again, so I would have to change him again. After lots of interruptions and things keeping me from getting everyone ready, we finally went out, with the double stroller and the single stroller in use so that the three youngest would not have to get too tired walking, and then before we even got to the gate at the end of our driveway, my 7 year old daughter was saying, "Mommy, my legs are tired!"

Oddly enough, my day actually was a little bit like I dreamed it, only I had to turn down cake and McDonald's. And we were late to the appointment, but not by much.

Friday, 12 February 2010

Doorways & Family On The Other Side

In last night’s dream, I was shopping, and my son Cameron was with me. He started crawling away through the aisles of clothing, and as I went to follow him, the sales clerk assured me that there was nowhere for him to go and that he’d be perfectly safe there. I followed him anyway. He crawled down a short hallway that had doors to the ladies’ room and men’s room on either side. I picked him up, not wanting him to get dirty on the floor.

There was a doorway at the end of the hall too. As I looked, a woman came out. She had on a lab coat. I wasn’t sure if she was a doctor or a scientist, but before she closed the door behind her, I caught a glimpse of others in the room behind the door who were also wearing lab coats. She smiled at me and said, “Cute baby.” She said something else to me then, but I can’t remember what it was.

I left the hallway and went back into the main part of the store with Cameron still in my arms. I walked to the back of the store and noticed another door. It didn’t look like it fit with the rest of the store. Curious, I opened it and found a pub on the other side. I entered the pub and it was full of people. It appeared that there was a party going on in the pub. There was an indoor grill and a couple of men were barbequing on it. Someone else was serving drinks, and there was a lot of general socializing and friendly chatter going on.

I began to recognize some of the faces in the pub. I recognized my grandmothers and my grandfathers (all who have died in years past). An elderly gentleman called me over and started chatting with me. I think he was a great-uncle or great-great-uncle of mine, but I can’t remember now. I just remember that everyone in the pub was a relation of mine who had died. They oohed and aahed over how adorable Cameron was. They asked about the rest of the family and within minutes Robert and the rest of the kids came through the door from the store.

I remember feeling really good there, really loved and a part of something much bigger than myself. I remember lots of talks with people there but I can’t remember what we talked about, only that it was important. Two people told me not to worry, everything was going to work out just great, and I believed them. Then I woke up.

Just thinking about the dream so that I can remember enough to write it down now is bringing back that pleasant feeling from the dream.

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Finding My Way

Last night, I had an interesting dream.

In the dream, I was a teenager and I lived in an area that was full of green, lush landscape and had lots of tree-lined paths to walk along. Robert was a teenager too and my best friend.

He didn’t come to school one day, and I had the worrying feeling that he was sick, so the next day, instead of going to school, I got my horse out for a ride and decided to ride out to his house to visit him. My horse was a very contrary one though, and he would sometimes stop for no reason or would randomly turn and trot in the opposite direction than the one I wanted to go in. After a while of getting nowhere with my mischievous horse, I climbed back off of him and decided to walk while leading him instead. He was a very affectionate horse though, and I wasn’t angry with him. I knew it was just his way of playing.

Because my horse had taken me in the wrong direction, I had to pass by my school in order to get to Robert’s. As I passed the school, other students were outside socializing before the bell rang. Someone had started throwing candy bars and sweets all over from above as a way of celebrating their birthday. Teens were scrambling all over to collect as many of the chocolates and candies as they could. I saw a handful of lollipops and decided to collect them because I was in the mood for something sweet but I didn’t want anything as fattening and bad for me as chocolate.

As I walked past the school, another girl who knew me came up to me and started walking in step with me. She chattered away about many topics, and I wasn’t really paying attention. I was still worried about Robert. A young boy who was physically handicapped walked over to me. He had trouble controlling his muscles and walked with a funny gait. His head leaned over to the right, and he wasn’t able to speak clearly. He indicated that he would like a lollipop.

The girl beside me told him to go away. But I gave him a lollipop. He smiled and I walked on. A girl, afflicted with what appeared to be the same thing as the boy came up to us. She also indicated that she would like a lollipop. Again, the girl beside me told her to go away. But I gave her a lollipop. She smiled her thanks, and I walked on.

The girl beside me said, “If you keep giving them away, you won’t have anything left for yourself.” I thought about her words for a brief moment, but realized that the idea didn’t bother me.

My horse nickered at me and nudged gently at my back with his nose, and I knew he was telling me that he was ready to go for a ride again. When he asked me like that, I knew he would behave himself, so I said “Goodbye” to the girl and climbed back onto my horse and continued on to Robert’s.

The path was a wide dirt path that was lined with trees and shrubbery. The birds were chirping in a chorus of different bird voices. The sunlight was just barely breaking through the tree leaves, leaving dappled sunlight scattered randomly around the path. I had the feeling that Robert would be okay. It was very peaceful riding along the path to his house. Then I woke up.

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

A Dreaming Problem With My Body Image

I can’t remember much about my dream last night, but it had a lot to do with my weight loss efforts and my unhappiness with the current state of how slowly I am losing weight and how my body is reshaping.

In the dream, even though I am only 2 ½ pounds away from a healthy BMI for my height, and even though I only have 4 ½ pounds left to lose until I reach my goal weight, I felt HUGE. I felt as though parts of my body were still as enormous as they had been at the beginning of my weight loss efforts.

My husband has recently commented to me on how tiny my bottom is getting, but, in the dream, I looked over my shoulder into a mirror so I could see myself from behind, and my butt was humongous!

I really only remember the general feel of the dream and that last part where I looked into the mirror and saw how big I was from behind and felt my heart sink.

I was relieved to wake up from this particular dream.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Driving Challenges

Most of last night’s dreams are just vague and shadowy things flitting around in my mind, just out of grasp. But I do remember the end of the last dream I had just before waking.

It started out focusing on food. I was having trouble resisting some of the temptations around me. For some reason, my house was full of chocolate and caramel desserts. I did resist them after spending some time looking at the Slimming World syn values on each one. But there was a pack of chocolate caramel cookies that were particularly tempting to me. Still, I resisted.

Then we had to drive somewhere. Robert was driving. I was in the passenger seat, and all of our kids were in the back of the car. It was raining. After driving some country roads, surrounded by green countryside, we eventually came to a part of the road that was partly flooded. It didn’t appear deep, and there were cars in front of us, so we could see how deep the water was against their cars. The reason for the flooding was that the amount of rain had made the lake beside the road overflow its banks.

We drove with the car tilting towards the right, towards the water, because bringing the car up to the side of the road on our left which was slightly elevated kept at least two of our wheels on semi-dry land. I wasn’t worried about the car flipping over though. At one point, it appeared that the water was getting deeper, possibly too deep for us, but then the raised land on our left levelled off, still slightly higher than the road we were on, so Robert got the car up onto it and we passed the other cars by.

It was a good thing we were going at a good speed by then because once we got past the flooded area, we were faced with an extremely steep hill climb. It was so steep that it was just shy of being vertical. We were doing pretty well on the climb, but then the car directly in front of us lost its traction and started to roll backwards. Robert said, “Oh no.” There was no way to avoid the backwards-rolling car, and it banged into the front end of our car.

Because the action of it hitting us stopped us, it seemed impossible to get the car going again at a pace that would get us the rest of the way up the incline. That’s when our car and all the cars around us turned into babies. Our car-baby looked just like Cameron, our youngest who is 14 ½ months old. All of the car-babies didn’t seem to have any trouble crawling up the short distance left to the top, some of them getting help by the cars’ passengers who walked up behind them.

Once at the top, the car-babies turned back into cars and everyone got back in to continue on the journey. That’s when I woke up.

Being in a car, whether driving or as a passenger, is a recurring theme in many of my dreams. And facing perils like floods and steep inclines is also something that happens frequently in those dreams. Usually I also have to face narrow, crumbling roads that are at very high elevations as well. I believe this is the first time my car turned into a baby and then back again though!

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Caterpillars & Dandelions

Last night, I had a very complicated dream, at least, I feel like I did, but I only remember bits from the end of it, just before I woke. In one bit, I was gathering dandelions while they were still yellow flowers. I was gathering them to cook. I was going to boil them and add them to other vegetables as part of dinner.

I remember reading once that people used to cook dandelions and eat them, so this dream is probably just a result of that memory. This part of a dream was at the end of a much more involved dream, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t remember the rest of the dream.

In another part of the dream, I found a caterpillar. It was fuzzy and black with little red spots. I put in a shoebox full of leaves and brought it inside to show to the kids. I knew they’d be fascinated by it and want to gently stroke its fuzziness with a finger. I planned on letting it go after the kids had seen it. I think this bit was at the end of the dandelion part of my dream, as if I found the caterpillar while gathering dandelions.

But that is all I can remember of the dream.

Friday, 5 February 2010

Sick Kitty

I woke up early this morning due to my cat throwing up on the floor beside my bed. I quickly picked him up and put him in the bathtub in the bathroom and grabbed what I would need to go and clean up the vomit from the floor. When I went back to the bathroom, he was gone, and I was too tired to look for him even though I knew I should put him outside.

When I went back to bed, my anxiety over what would happen with him still in the house seeped into my dream as I fell back asleep.

I dreamed that I got up in the morning and went downstairs. As I got downstairs, I found that my cat had been sick again in the downstairs hall. I cleaned up the sick and worried that he had been sick elsewhere, but I woke up from the dream before my dream-self went looking for the cat.

Awake now, I really did go downstairs. My younger children were up and demanding breakfast so I started the morning routine of packing their lunches for school and making them breakfast. Then I heard my 7 year old yelling, “Yucky! Mommy! There’s something really gross in the back room!”

I went into the dining room and saw that the cat had apparently had diarrhea on the carpet in there. So my anxious dream of earlier wasn’t too far off the mark.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Remembering & Forgetting

I haven't been remembering my dreams lately. I know that I have been dreaming, because I wake up with the dream just on the edge of my memory, something I know is there but I can't quite bring back fully into my mind.

I really want to keep writing my dreams down here, but I can't do that if I don't remember what my dreams are about. I know the reason I don't remember them; lately, I have not been able to wake up in my own time. Other things have woken me and needed my immediate attention, and with my mind turning instantly to other things, whatever I had just been dreaming is soon lost.

Either my husband wakes me to tell me to go and wake up our teenage daughters for school (the price of being the one on the side of the bed nearest to the door), or my three year old wakes in the middle of the night and needs my attention. Sometimes it's the baby waking in the middle of the night or early in the morning because he needs a diaper change or he's hungry. Other times, it is my four year old daughter waking because she's had a bad dream. Even our cat and dog take their turns to wake me up, the dog because he's found something to bark at in the middle of the night and won't quiet himself until I've gone downstairs and spoken to him and the cat because he's decided he wants attention in the middle of the night so decides to walk all over my face, purring as loudly as he can.

Whatever the reasons, I am not sure what it is going to take for me to start remembering my dreams again. Maybe I should try taking a nap. I could sure use one, with or without dreaming!

Sunday, 24 January 2010

I Scare The Darkness

My dream last night was a boring one, probably a result of my focusing so much on trying to reach my weight loss goal this week. I dreamed simply that I couldn't find the very light-weight dress that I usually wear for my weigh-ins and so had to wear something heavier that would add half a pound to my weight on the scale.

See? I told you it was boring!

However, my husband told me about a dream that he had last night, and it made me laugh so I had to share it here.

He dreamed that I was downstairs and he was in bed. (At the time, this was actually true.) At the same time, the darkness around him felt alive, like an evil, lurking presence that wanted to do harm. In order to protect the rest of us, his beloved family, he let the darkness enter himself in the hopes that he could control it and keep it from hurting me or the kids.

In the dream, he stood up to go use the bathroom, all the while trying to keep control of the dark presence inside of him. As he and the Darkness within him approached the top of the stairs on the way towards the bathroom, he heard me coming up the stairs.

When the Darkness inside him became aware that I was coming, it screamed like a girl inside him, took complete control of him and made him run like a timid child back to the bed and then left him and the room completely.

So, he explained, the dream meant that I'm so scary even evil incarnate runs away!

We both had a good laugh about that dream!

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Decadent Food

I had the silliest dream last night.

Before bed, Robert and I had been talking about our plan to eat really healthy this week. So of course, I dreamed that we were at a hotel and it was the next day, and there were master chefs there who kept giving us really decadent food. I knew we had completely sabotaged our diets, but the food was so good. I can even remember sampling a chocolate dessert and actually TASTING it in my dream. I was thinking how delicious it was and that I was going to eat it slowly and really savor it.

I woke up relieved that I hadn't really eaten all that food, but feeling as if I'd enjoyed it nonetheless.